‘I feel ashamed that I would have those thoughts’: Katy Perry opens up on past suicidal inklings and other personal demons on livestream


Katy Perry welled to tears during an emotional therapy session that was broadcast via her ongoing YouTube livestream, Witness World Wide, on Friday.

The pop star, 32, chatted with Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh, known from The Therapist on Viceland, about topics ranging from her love life woes to her mercurial interactions with her parents to her difficulties with drinking – and even suicidal thoughts she’d past harbored, according to News.com.au.

‘I wrote a song about it,’ she said. ‘I feel ashamed that I would have those thoughts, feel that low and that depressed.’

The Roar singer added, ‘You can be right or you can be loved; I just want to be loved.’

The unflinching artist insisted the cameras stay on, even as her associate urged her to take a break amid the heavy discussion.

The Firework songstress, whose real name is Katheryn Hudson, explained how she evolved into a pop icon donning her Katy Perry persona.


‘That’s the point of this whole thing, if people can see I’m just like them then they can dream just as big,’ she explained. ‘I’m a bit more nerdy than everybody thinks I am, I’m a big goofball.’

She said that ‘the fantasy of Katheryn went into Katy and made this bigger-than-life personality’ – one she’s not always comfortable being.

She said she underwent her recent bold haircut because she ‘didn’t want to look like Katy Perry anymore.’


Despite the heavy topic matter in the segment, it wrapped up on an upbeat note, as Singh presented her with a wooden bowl filled with cards that he called an angel bowl, urging her to pick one up ‘to see what the angels tell her.’

She selected a card that read, ‘Freedom,’ crying more at the implications of the word and how it related to their aforementioned discussion.

Katy earlier Friday proved she could stand the heat in the kitchen of one of the world’s most temperamental chefs, as she was snapped filming an episode of The F Word With Gordon Ramsay.


The Teenage Dream artist wore a colorful cooking ensemble for the taping, in a multicolored layered skirt with a white apron with red vertical stripes. The pop princess wore fuzzy pink slipper heels and had splotches of pink in her short blonde ‘do.

In the segment that was taped for broadcast, Ramsay dictated instructions to Perry while she prepared a lunch, with the twist being that she could not look at him, only responding to vocal cues.

She looked a bit uncomfortable at times as she cooked in the competition from Witness Headquarters, a fancy home she’s livestreaming 24/7 from through the weekend, in an unprecedented promotional move


Celebrities expected to chat with Perry throughout the weekend include Caitlyn Jenner, James Corden, Margaret Cho, and RuPaul, among others.

On Friday night she hosted a dinner for Dita Von Teese, Sia, Anna Kendrick and Mia Moretti


One celebrity unlikely to cross paths with Katy on the livestream is Taylor Swift, as the feud between the superstar singers – which started years ago over a backup dancer who defected from Swift’s tour to work with Perry – continues to rage on.

In the latest chapter, Swift raised eyebrows in releasing her entire catalog via Spotify Friday at midnight – coincidentally, at the same time Perry dropped Witness – in a move many speculated was to undercut the impact of Witness hitting the market.

In a NME interview released Friday, Perry admitted that her musical rival has gotten under her skin



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